• Andrew Playmer

Season 5: Flying High

Despite being forsaken by the democratic process again at the end of Season 4, the Millennials ran away with the Chaotic Good league for the third straight season, posting a 64-35 record.


The team's offense was anchored by a resurgent Thomas Dracaena, who led the league in hits (140), and led the team in home runs (33), RBIs (81), batting average (.337), and grand slams (4). He was awarded "Good League MVP" by the prestigious "Behind The Bats" internet publication:

"I said it before, but the way that Thomas roared back this season to re-establish himself as one of the best players in blaseball was a joy to behold. Setting personal bests in doubles and home runs, Dracaena proved he still had it and was, in our opinion, the most valuable player in the entire Good League this season."

Wesley Dudley also saw and improved performance in Season 5. Following his return (?) from Alternate Reality, he notched the fourth-highest RBI total and second-highest OPS on the team. When asked by his teammates how he got so jacked in the off-season, Wesley Dudley shrugged and said simply, "People change."


Across the pitching staff, Patty Fox continued to shine. Despite inheriting a -4 run Targeted Shame penalty for her shift against Charleston on Day 22, she pitched a shutout, reminding the world that Millennials thrive in the struggle of debt. Fox's shutout paved the way to a 2-0 victory.


The team strengthened as the season progressed, including a league record 14-game win streak beginning on Day 84. The win streak was retroactively -- and confusingly -- sponsored by Basethirst.



In the playoffs, the Mills were unable to punch a third consecutive ticket to the Internet Series, falling 3-1 in the Round of 8 to the Chicago Firefighters, who would go on to win the championship. Democracy again ignored the voice of the Millennials, giving the Mills back-to-back-to-back zero blessings. Following the High Filter decree, they were placed into the newly formed Wild High league for Season 6.

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