• Andrew Playmer

Season 11: Peace And Prosperity?

Coming off the emotional high of Season 10, the beginning of the Peace and Prosperity Era would bring little of either for the New York Millennials.

Prosperity would certainly not be found on the field. The team struggled to figure out the new weather, with game loops being seen fifteen times across the regular season. The poor performance could not solely be blamed on the weather; a twenty day span (S11D63 through D11D72) saw the Mills go 4-16 with no weather events. In the face of fierce competition across the Mild league, the Mills entered brunch (Party Time) on Day 90.

The team would end the season with a 40-57 record, the worst in club history.

Hopes were high that Thomas Dracaena’s acquisition of An Actual Airplane would be a difference maker for the season. However, Dracaena’s inability to purchase fuel for the plane limited the plane’s usefulness to a single game. On Day 48, Dracaena stole second base in the top of the 3rd inning, as the Millennials beat the Lovers by a final score of 5.2 to 0.

The surprise cancelation of Eat The Rich impacted ILB players and fans who rely on the income. The Millennials themselves, unpaid from their participation in the splort of blaseball, rely on this money to cover monthly rent, plane fuel, and other sky-high NYC expenses. Represented by the Wild Wings Legal Team, the Millennials filed a class action lawsuit against the league CEO. New York Millennials v. Parker MacMillan III is expected to go to trial before Season 12 begins, with Eat The Rich now more formally postponed due to “ongoing litigation”.

To help deal with the surprise shortfall in the rent, as well as to celebrate their Bestie/Anti-Rival status, the Millennials entered into a long-distance roommate agreement with the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Access to the Hellmouth is now available through a door in the Millennials’ shared apartment whose use has not yet been specified, only speculated on. As this is the same method that the Millennials use to reach Battin’ Island, this led to the team arriving at The Solarium by mistake, sometimes mid-game.

Screenshot of Google Maps showing a driving route from Moab, UT to New York City. A label indicated the 2,141 mile trip would take 32 hours by car.
The door system avoids a painful 32-hour car ride.

To close the era, the Millennials established no election voting strategy for its fans, instead telling them to “vote with their hearts”. The weekly voting strategy guide was replaced with a collector’s edition program featuring thematic short stories written by the Mills Nation.

With their Season 11 election votes cast arbitrarily, the Millennials drew the VI The Lover card with just 1% of the vote. It is unclear what this will mean for long-term relations with the San Francisco Lovers, who had cast 83% of the vote for the same card.

The "VI The Lover" card from the Marseilles tarot deck.

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