• Andrew Playmer

Season 10, Part 1: The Hangover

Hungover from the enhanced party brunch of Season 9, the New York Millennials began Season 10 poorly. The losses stacked up quickly, particularly thanks to the Canada Moist Talkers, who handed the Mills fourteen L’s in their first fifteen meetings of the season.

On Day 12, New York hosted the Philly Pies. In the bottom of the fourth, Andrew Solis struck out. As Nandy Fantastic took the plate, a rogue umpire appeared in front of Schneider Bendie, who had just begun warming up in the On Deck circle. Bendie froze, and Solis reactively ran in front of the rogue umpire. The incineration attempt was consumed by Solis thanks to his Fire Eater condition, although Solis later claimed that he “didn’t really think about it”. The moment forged a lasting bond between the two players beyond their usual mutual antagonism.

The halfway point saw the Mills holding a miserable 18-32 record, the worst at that point in their ILB history. Another campaign had ended almost as quickly as it had started.

In an effort to turn the tide, New York strung together three consecutive sweeps, taking down the Yellowstone Magic, the Hades Tigers, and the Seattle Garages. A fourth sweep against the Steaks was broken in Game 3; the eleven-game streak was the second longest in club history, behind the fourteen-game streak of Season 5.

The streak would not be enough to save the season directly - Party Time began on Day 91 - but it did boost morale. Party Time would again be dominated by the pitching rotation, with Theodore Cervantes partying three times while Penelope Mathews and Fynn Doyle would benefit once. Charlatan Seabright would be the only batter to join the party.

By all rational logic, Season 10 should have ended there.

NEXT: Mills, Wimdy?


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